This article was written by Heather Berry, a Postpartum Support Specialist, with a background in postpartum nursing and professionally certified coaching, and a mother of three. Heather, originally from Canada, is a long-standing member of the Canadian Nurses Association and the International Coaching Federation. After moving from Canada to Dubai, she has been relocated to Amsterdam in 2021.
The transition to Motherhood is one of the greatest changes you will experience in your life. It alters you physically, emotionally, socially, romantically, and occupationally (I’m not sure if that’s a real word, but I’m using it!).
The accompanying challenges can, and will, at times, be overwhelming. This is why, during these next few months, you need to pay as much attention to your health as you did over the last nine months. Having proper support, and knowing what to expect in your 4th trimester (and beyond) is so essential, and will make all the difference in your postpartum recovery.
Let’s start with your physical postpartum healing. Regardless of how you give birth, the physical healing of your body generally takes around six weeks, but feeling like yourself again can take months. From fluctuating hormones, vaginal and/or abdominal pain, bleeding, constipation, and hemorrhoids, to sore nipples and engorged breasts, your body has a lot to deal with.
It’s important to take things slowly and to listen to your body. Try not to overdo it, this can end up being a setback. In the initial weeks, focus on resting, eating healthy foods, drinking water, and connecting with and caring for your baby. When you’re feeling ready, start to do some light exercise, like getting outside and walking with your baby.
Fresh air and movement can help you to reconnect with your body. It will release endorphins, which help to reduce stress and pain, as well as promote positive feelings. If you feel like your body is not adapting/adjusting the way you think it should, or if something just doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. Be sure to reach out to your doctor or a postpartum professional for advice with any concerns or uncertainties.
Your emotional health is equally as important in your postpartum recovery. You are embarking on a new lifelong journey! Give yourself some time to adjust and adapt to your new role. Pay attention to how you are feeling and coping. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, a bit sad, and to be struggling.
It’s important to talk openly and honestly about these feelings and emotions with someone you can trust. Talking about your feelings can help to normalize them and can release some of the weight they carry. Check in to see if your feelings or behaviors are unusual. If you find yourself not recovering from your feelings of sadness or anxiety after a few weeks, it’s crucial to get immediate professional help to address and alleviate these symptoms. Seeking help is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your baby.
Seeking help is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your baby.
Taking care of your physical and emotional health, while also taking care of your baby and family is really hard work, but it’s so important. Make some time for yourself to see what you can do to take care of your body and mind, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.
Take a short walk, or do some light yoga. Journal your thoughts, and think about what you need. Listen to your favorite music, or take a bath. Join a New Mom group - share your experiences and gain some insights. Building a support network will also contribute to your physical and mental well-being. Find someone that you can walk and talk with. See if there’s someone who can take care of the baby for a few hours. Is there someone that could help with meals or light chores? Any method to reduce your stress, and relieve some of the pressure on yourself, is going to help with your postpartum recovery.
Motherhood is an evolution. It’s going to take time, support, and self-compassion to figure out who you are as a mom, and who you want to be. It also takes time to get to know and understand your baby’s needs and how to meet them. Lower your expectations. Go easy on yourself, and take care of yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others. Your parenting journey is uniquely your own, and you get to decide what that looks like for you and your family.
About the author of this article:
My name is Heather Berry, Founder of BerryCare & Coaching. I am a Postpartum Support Specialist, with a background in postpartum nursing and professionally certified coaching. I offer professional support to moms who may be struggling with the common challenges and transition to motherhood. I specialize in helping new moms to feel cared for, supported, confident, and connected to their new role as a mom, so they can enjoy and appreciate this precious time in their baby’s life.
If you’d like to know more about the 4th trimester, here are the answers to some frequently asked questions.
The "fourth trimester" refers to the period immediately following childbirth, typically the first three months after a baby is born. It's a concept that highlights the idea that newborns are still very much in a developmental stage akin to the last trimester of pregnancy, requiring special care and attention as they adapt to life outside the womb. During this time, babies undergo rapid growth and development, and parents often experience significant adjustments as they learn to care for their newborns and adapt to their new roles. The term emphasizes the importance of providing extra support and nurturing during this critical early stage of a baby's life.
The term "fourth trimester" is often used colloquially to describe the first three months after a baby is born, although technically it's not an actual trimester in the pregnancy sense. This period is characterized by significant adjustments for both the newborn and the parents as they adapt to their new roles and routines. It's a time when the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb and the parents are getting used to caring for their newborn. So, the "fourth trimester" typically refers to the first three months of a baby's life.
The "fourth trimester" typically ends around three months after birth. This period marks the transition from the immediate postnatal period to a more settled routine as both the baby and parents become more accustomed to their new roles and responsibilities. By the end of the fourth trimester, babies often begin to show more regular sleeping and feeding patterns, and parents may feel more confident in caring for their newborn. However, every baby develops at their own pace, so the exact timing of the end of the fourth trimester may vary from one child to another.
Surviving the fourth trimester, also known as the first three months after childbirth, can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding. Here are some tips to help you navigate this period:
1. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help from family members, friends, or support groups. Having a strong support network can make a significant difference during this time.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Get enough rest whenever possible, eat nutritious meals, and find moments for relaxation or activities you enjoy.
3. Accept Help: If someone offers to help with household chores, cooking, or running errands, accept their assistance. This allows you to focus on bonding with your baby and taking care of yourself.
4. Learn About Newborn Care: Educate yourself about newborn care, breastfeeding (if applicable), and infant development. Knowing what to expect can alleviate anxiety and help you feel more confident as a parent.
5. Establish a Routine: While newborns don't follow strict schedules, establishing some routines around feeding, sleeping, and playtime can provide structure and stability for both you and your baby.
6. Practice Skin-to-Skin Contact: Skin-to-skin contact has numerous benefits for both babies and parents, including regulating the baby's temperature, promoting bonding, and supporting breastfeeding.
7. Communicate with Your Partner: Keep communication lines open with your partner. Share your feelings, concerns, and joys with each other, and work together as a team in caring for your newborn.
8. Take Breaks: It's okay to take breaks when you need them. If you're feeling overwhelmed, put the baby in a safe place and step away for a few minutes to collect yourself.
9. Stay Flexible: Be prepared for unexpected challenges and changes. Flexibility is key as you adjust to your new role as a parent and respond to your baby's needs.
10. Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate small victories and milestones, both for yourself and your baby. Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is worth acknowledging and celebrating.
Remember that the fourth trimester is a temporary phase, and as you and your baby adapt to your new lives together, things will gradually become easier. Be patient with yourself and trust your instincts as a parent.
